Rearrange Your House, Rearrange Your Life

The way in which you live your life is governed by so many factors that when you get into a rut it can be hard to know where to look first for improvement. Ordinarily, people tend to make improvements bit by bit, concentrating on improving one area of their life. Sometimes, though, it can be as good a bet to concentrate on something large, something that takes a good deal of effort but will have consequential effects that reach into the rest of your life, and can metaphorically blow away some of the dust in your daily routine while literally blowing away actual dust.

One way of doing this is to literally get your house in order. The human mind is often compared to a dwelling, and this is fitting because many of us spend a lot of time inside both. If you can get your house looking ship-shape and spring cleaned, then the effects can extend into your everyday life and make for a real boost to your personal contentment. Apart from anything, it has been proven time and time again that putting in physical effort releases endorphins and can get you smiling, even if the job itself seems like a gargantuan task to begin with.

It helps to go room by room. If you are somewhat daunted by the prospect of totally rearranging your place of dwelling, then you should start small. Rearranging your bedroom or your kitchen is a process that can take less than half a day and make you feel like you have really accomplished something. If you believe in Feng Shui, it can even be an opportunity to test out some ideas and literally spring clean your life.

As well as the above factors, there is another side benefit – the fact that in spring cleaning rushes you will almost always turn up one or more things that you thought had been lost forever. Some of these things will bring up happy memories, and if the memories they dredge up are less happy it is still an opportunity to do something about it – a small bonfire of the bad parts of the past may be just the thing you need in order to move forward happily and with confidence.

Moving from room to room you will feel as though you are getting a fresh start, another chance to get life rolling again, and you will also almost certainly free up space. We all talk about liking a bit of space in our lives, and although the term is largely metaphorical it can also work literally. If you are sick of weaving your way past things in order to get to your seat, then the difference that is made by opening up floor space can have emotionally beneficial effects as well. When everything is done it can be the ideal excuse to sit back, relax and enjoy some treats that you have promised yourself (possibly as a bribe to encourage you to work). A party may be in order, and one thing is certain – you will sleep like a fairytale character once it’s all done.

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Should You Accept Negative Behaviours From Others?

Don’t Accept Negative Behaviours From Others

All of us have some problems in our lives, but the last thing we need to do is hide from them. It seems like a good idea at the time – or at least it seems like the easiest thing to do. But the one certain thing in this situation is that hiding from the problem will mean that it comes back again and again, often worse the next time. Tackling problems head-on can be tricky – emotionally it is testing and this makes focusing difficult. It can be hard to find the inner strength – and all the more so when the problem is with another person. Tackling a problem with a friend or a family member – or any other individual – complicates the issue.

When another person is posing a problem for you it can be tempting to get angry behind their back, and when you are speaking to the responsible person act as if nothing is the matter. The nature of the problem can be anything. If they are a housemate, for example, and never do their part of the work around the house, this can make for a serious problem in dealing with them. If they are wonderful to live with in any other way – funny, supportive and good to talk to – then there may be a fear at the back of your mind. If you confront them over their lack of consideration around the house, will they stop being so much fun to be around? Probably not. Can you take that chance? Well, you probably should. Chances are they just don’t realize how important it is that they get involved.

Other problems can be considerably trickier to deal with, however. If someone is actively abusive – in a physical or emotional way – then confronting them about their behaviour is inevitably going to be a great deal more stressful. Maybe they are behaving this way as a result of some past experience that they have had, but their behaviour is still flat-out wrong. It’s obviously not that straightforward, though – if they are already being abusive in some way, how do you stop them from stepping up that behaviour if they do not like what you have to say to them? You may need support to do this – but seeking or accepting that support is not a sign of weakness.

When it comes down to it, negative behaviour from someone in your life can make your life a lot more stressful and make you depressed. The knock-on effects of this are harder for you, and harder for everyone. If the person concerned really does not know their behaviour is affecting you in a negative way they will not be angry at you for bringing it up, but pleased that you came to them with it and happy to have the chance to alleviate a problem for you. The only way you can get past a problem with someone else is to approach it realistically and sensibly, and it is something that you will look back on with relief rather than anxiety.

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Let’s Go Retro!

A lot of us tend to find life unnecessarily trying from time to time, and this is due in no small part to the repetition of it all. It is a regular complaint from people in various jobs or other situations that they find each day runs into the next, with no variety to break it all up. It feels like Groundhog Day to many of us, as we wish we could just break the cycle a little bit and do something different. Of course, just as many of us have a bad feeling about changing too radically – what if we don’t like the change, it’s too difficult to change back or it’s so costly to make the initial change that we leave ourselves out of pocket for what turns out to be no real reason?

Well, there is another way to change things, a way that doesn’t leave you high and dry from a financial point of view and which you can feel confident about enjoying. It is called “turning back the clock” by more than a few, and various other names by various people what it amounts to is doing the things you always used to enjoy, without entertaining the boring and inaccurate state of mind that says it is uncool to do such things. Think about it – you always used to enjoy something, before life got in the way and stopped you. Now that things have settled and you need something to give your days a bit of a shake-up, what better way of doing that than rediscovering something you’ve always loved?

It doesn’t much matter what it is. If the thing you always used to love doing was a physical exertion like a sport or dancing, you may find that you have got out of condition for it in the meantime. Whether this is enough to persuade you to give up on it is up to you, but you could find that the journey of getting back to where you used to be is as much fun as the feeling of actually being at that point. Maybe it is something like old-school video games. A lot of people say that video games are for kids, but most of those people have either never played one, or last played one when they themselves were kids – and things change a lot in the world of video games, sometimes very quickly.

The key point here is that there are many things which we give up before we really want to – sometimes because we genuinely have to and sometimes because we feel we must. Re-evaluating at some point along the way means that we can look at bringing these things back into our everyday lives, or as a weekly treat. It is a way of changing things up without having to make a jump into the unknown, and allowing ourselves to enjoy a pursuit that we already know how to do. As a side benefit, doing things you used to enjoy can make you feel younger, and we could all do with that from time to time.

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Reading for enjoyment

Many of us, in everyday life, spend a hefty proportion of our time reading. The reasons for this reading will vary from person to person. Mostly, though, it will either be for the purposes of keeping up with the news, or for work purposes. This is a perfectly good reason for reading, of course. There is, however, some sense of injustice in the fact that merely living is taking the element of fun out of something that we used to do almost entirely for pleasure. Reading a book just because we want to do so, as a simple pleasure, is something that disappointingly few of us are doing. There are numerous reasons for this, and they say a lot about how the meaner side of human nature has taken hold among many of us.

There is a sense among a sadly growing number of people that reading is simply something for the college kids and the wannabe intellectuals. Who reads for pleasure these days, people will seriously ask, when we have DVDs, cinemas and the TV for our entertainment? There is even an element of distrust shown towards those of us who like to read. It is a massive shame, but it seems that there is a tendency to dumb things down and to actually wear ignorance as a badge of honour. Just to clarify things, there is nothing shameful about cracking a book every once in a while and reading for fun. Don’t be concerned about people looking at you in a slightly dimmer way just because you enjoy the written word. It is something that gives life a bit of flavour. A good book can take you outside the confines of the everyday and turn free time into dream time.

Now, this is not an order to go out and read the classics. If you don’t like Shakespeare you don’t have to read him. If Dickens doesn’t do anything for you, don’t buy his books. It really isn’t about who you read, or even what you read. It’s about why. And the fact is that sometimes reading for pleasure can make a real difference. It relaxes you physically while at the same time exercising your mind. Even a fairly simple and pedestrian novel that won’t win any awards will keep your brain functioning at a higher level, exercise that it needs in order to keep operating at the level you are used to.

So, if you have a favourite childhood book that always used to make you laugh or smile, why not pick that up once more? If a friend is reading something that they deem excellent, ask if you can borrow it when they’ve finished with it. Reading just for the sake of pleasure is something that makes us richer as a people, and something that should survive the prospect of being sneered at. It really is good fun, and we should see it as such. Find a new favourite author and read as many books as you can find, and before too long you’ll be reading a couple of books a week!

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The Internet Can Aid Personal Growth Immensely

There are an awful lot of stereotypes directed at the Internet and its users, although to some extent these stereotypes are becoming less prominent. Regardless of the changing opinions of individuals, however, there is still a hard-wired impression that those of us who choose to spend a fair portion of our life online must be socially inadequate, and in some way not equipped to live a “normal life”. It should not be ignored that the people who express this impression most vocally are rarely much of a role model for anyone – and their unfounded prejudices may well suggest that they are quite the opposite. The Internet can, in fact, work excellently as a tool for personal development.

Think about it this way. If you are growing up in a relatively small town with very clearly defined values and preferences, and happen to grow up with a mindset that is at odds with those values and preferences, life can be pretty lonely. Geography in this sense is incredibly limiting. With the advent of the Internet, however, it has become possible for like minded individuals from locations poles apart to form strong bonds of friendship. There are caveats to this process, of course – taking people at face value is inadvisable – but these caveats are no more pronounced than those which arise when interacting with someone who is physically in the same room as you. It is always important to keep an eye out for people who are keen to dissemble and distract.

Online forums are one way of getting to know people who have similar interests. There are so many forums and message boards on the Internet, devoted to such a wide range of interests, that it would be quicker to name the subjects that are not catered to than those that are. Sports, music, politics, whatever interests you there is likely to be a community or two (or a few thousand) devoted to it. On here, you may get the kind of conversation that you simply cannot have with a geographical neighbour. In addition, it is an excellent way to get a bit of debating practice – by speaking to people whose opinions on your subject of interest differ from yours, you can build a greater understanding of matters, something which aids personal growth immensely.

Social networking sites are often viewed very dimly by media commentators and everyday skeptics. There is a certain selective interpretation of the medium in this – for one thing, the media commentators are a little concerned that they will cease to be as relevant, and secondly the most scathing attitudes to social networking are based on a hugely skewed sample. Yes, there are some complete and utter fools on these sites, and when their pronouncements are frozen for posterity online it is hard not to cringe. But some real deep thinkers also use these sites simply because they have so much difficulty finding like-minded people nearby. By using the Internet wisely, you can find people who are really worth talking to. Like anything else, it is a matter of knowing how to separate the good from the bad.

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Change You Can Believe In

If you spend more time than you used to complaining and feeling frustrated, chances are that you have fallen into a rut and it is bringing you down. Although we as humans are creatures of habit to a large extent, there is no getting away from the fact that every once in a while following the same routine gets boring. However much you may instinctively dislike change, it can be the answer when things get just that bit too dull – and it broadens your horizons to allow you the chance to appreciate new things.

There is no change that is too small to influence your life in some way. Even waking up ten minutes earlier in the morning can give you a new appreciation of something. But most of us want more sleep, not less, and it is understandable that we are protective of our duvet time. It is for this reason that you should look initially for changes that will be more fun. The definition of “fun” differs for us all, of course. Some people don’t see the point in watching or playing sport; others are left unsatisfied by the cinema. Fun is anything that makes you glad to have the opportunity to do it.

When it comes to dinner time, why not try something you have never eaten before? Pretty often, even when eating in a restaurant, we will skim over the pages of stuff that we are unfamiliar with, and select the same thing we always do. Instead of this, why not stop for a while on a page that you normally flick past and give it your time? Changing something as simple as your meal rotation can give you a little bit of a boost when you need it most.

Food is just an example, of course. Sometimes change for change’s sake is a good thing, pure and simple. If you go through life never trying anything different, you will miss out on one of the most enriching parts of life – variety. I don’t know if you have heard, but it is apparently the spice of life. And it can be a very valuable thing, too. Even changing the desktop picture on your computer can make a difference on a day when you are feeling laboured and unmotivated. Buying a different breakfast cereal can also do the job. The point is not the depth of the change, the point is change itself.

However weighed down you may feel, and however weather-beaten it is making you, there is a real value in facing it down and refusing to become embittered. Changing your outlook can be as simple as deciding that you are not going to keep to the old rules, and making a bold strike for freedom. Try changing one thing every day, no matter how small it is. The difference that it will make, cumulatively, can be the difference between a positive mindset and a negative one. It’s a difference worth making.

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Learning Language Can Be A Good Thing

For many of us, the reason that we want to change our life is because so much of it is stale. The everyday fact of doing the same thing again and again, and having a set routine, means that if there is anything that gets us down about life, it will be a recurring pain for us. To make our lives more enjoyable, what we require is a bit of a shake-up. Changing things around will give us something to get excited about and look forward to. Even a simple break from the norm can make a big difference.

Taking up a hobby is something that people often do to bring a bit more interest to their lives. What that hobby is, is truly limited only by our own imagination. What do you enjoy? If it is something that lends itself to a daily routine – or a weekly one – then it can be introduced into a pattern. Hobbies are alive with variety. All that matters about a hobby is that you find it enjoyable. Aside from that, the world is your oyster. But if it is something that you are taking up in order to introduce an aspect of fun to your life, you should make sure it has some sort of shelf-life.

One hobby that people like to take up is learning another language. When we are in school, it is often obligatory to choose a language as one of your elective subjects. Depending on where we are in the world, there may be a specific language that is compulsory. In Canada it will be French (or for French Canadians, English). In the US, it will often be Spanish. If we are not of a mind to enjoy school, we can come to associate a language with the boredom and restriction of a classroom. But often, once we have left school, we regret not having paid attention.

It may be directed towards future holidays in the country whose language you are learning, it may be directed towards being better able to understand a friend who speaks it as a first language. Or it may just be for the fun of it. Learning another language – off your own initiative – is a beneficial process. It allows you to exercise your brain, and makes you more receptive to the process of learning. When we have sought out an opportunity to learn, it is much easier to follow the learning process than if it is forced upon us.

In learning another language you learn so much more than just the words and the rules of the language. A language is formed by the culture in which it has arisen. So by learning the language you learn a lot about the people who speak it and the country or countries where they live. There can be a lot of secondary learning opportunities. Early on in a subject’s vocabulary you will learn about food, for example. This can play directly into learning about how to make the dishes whose names you have learned. So by learning French, you will learn French culture, French cuisine… the options open up the longer you go on.

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Learning – The Never Ending Journey

Many of us, while at school, required every parental trick in the book just to get us to attend. There are many reasons why we often do not want to go to school – from simple, innocent ones like just wanting to stay in bed or have a day at home to more worrying ones like bullying at school or difficulties with the work. Either way, it is a rare child indeed who goes from day one of their schooling to the final day of high school without having a single day where they just didn’t want to go. The first rung of the education ladder where it becomes a true case of self-motivation for many is when college comes around – and for some people th  at day never comes.

Some of us never go to college or university. Sometimes that is through choice, and sometimes it is a matter of circumstances dictating that we cannot go. There is no reason that a person who has not been to college should not go on to thrive in the workplace anyway. If you have skills that are not particularly suited to the more academic field then there is no harm to proceeding in a world that does not require a college diploma. The trick is to know where your talents lie and play to that. However, education is not limited to your childhood, adolescence and early adulthood. You can take up a course of learning at any time.

If you are often complaining of feeling bored or unfulfilled, the reasons for going into some kind of education are all the greater. It does not even have to be for any loftier reason than for your own enjoyment. Learning something just for the sake of it is a real kick in itself. In fact, looking at things from the point of view of an adult who has been through the school system and didn’t much care for it can remind you of the value of knowledge. Many of us didn’t want to go to school because we didn’t see the point of it. Often a child will not, because they lack the overall sense of perspective that a few decades on this earth provide. You may not have wanted to go to school, you may have played truant a few times or played the sick note more than once, and that’s fine. It is when you are an adult that you begin to wish you had paid a bit more attention.

More than anything, learning something new is innately thrilling. It challenges your perceptions, it increases your understanding of the world and it gives you the chance to build your mind. Being a student again, and actually being there because you want to be, allows you to approach things with an open mind and be a more receptive learner. Back at school, you will have had a million other things you would rather have been doing, and you were still trying to make sense of the world. Having that bit more experience allows you to see education for what it is – fun and worthwhile.

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Make a List, Prioritize  Your Life

If you are dissatisfied with your lot in life, it can seem like a fairly daunting prospect to just decide that you are not going to stand for it anymore and make a change for the better. Where do you even start? It can seem like the hardest part of all is just to make sense of everything. Few of us are lucky enough to have just one problem, which if it is fixed will iron everything out and give us a simple life. One problem seems to lead to another one, two matters that are interconnected can each seem to complicate solving the other, and unravelling them can be so daunting that people give up on ever changing anything and just resolve to make the best of their lot in life. This is however not the best option to take. Unless you attack problems at the source, they will continue to make life difficult.

Approaching a personal development plan is daunting, yes. But when you sit and think about it, how wonderful would it be to be able to say that you are tackling your problems head on? There is a cliché that says that getting started is half the battle won. The reason this has become a cliché is because there is more than a morsel of truth in it. If you want to tackle your problems head on, then the best first step to take is making a list. What is it that you want to improve about your life? Do you want to give up a bad habit that is dragging you down? Is it a personal relationship issue? Is it a financial worry? These are just three sides to the issue of personal development, and there are certainly several other categories into which problems can fall. Your instincts will tell you which ones are your key issues.

When you put something down on paper, it makes it easier to isolate what exactly the crux of the problem is. Don’t limit it to a few words, write down everything that the problem makes you think and feel. Then isolate the key words in what you have written. Think about how you can address these problems. Evaluate different solutions and look at how each one will affect you. This will help you identify where you might end up swapping one problem for another, and allow you to take the solutions on their merits.

It may make for a harrowing experience, seeing your problems written down on paper. But both symbolically and psychologically it can make a real difference. The problems are no longer only on your mind, they are down on paper, and what you have in front of you is a battle plan, or game plan. You cannot defeat an enemy that you cannot see, but once you can see it, it becomes solid. And nothing that is solid is invulnerable. It makes a big difference to be able to see where you can attack a problem and once you do it, you will feel a whole lot better. It would be simplistic to say it will be easy sailing from there, but you will at least have steadied the ship.

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The Power Of Change

The most frequent complaint that many people have about the way their life is going just has to be “nothing ever changes”. People are sick and tired of their lives going the same way day after day. Most of us have probably had the feeling that we are living out the film “Groundhog Day” with ourselves in the Bill Murray role. Get up, go to work, come home, go to bed, with little changing in between. And the effect of this is, all too often, to make us discontented and fed up with our lot in life. And what do we do? Well, we get up, go to work, come home and go to bed. As a wise man once said, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.

If we want our lives to change, it is we ourselves who need to take the first step in changing them. Life is not easy. Nor is it always exciting. And changing things is certainly not something that will happen overnight. But one thing that is undeniable is that too many of us shy away from changing things because we are concerned about how a change will affect our lives. Often the suggestion of doing something new is met by a response of “Why?”. “I could look for a new job, but why? I already have one!” “I could take up a hobby, but why? I have little enough time to myself as it is!” These same people will then complain about boredom at least once a day. The responsibility for changing things lies with individuals, not with anyone else.

When the idea of doing something different is floated, don’t just think “Why  should I?”. This just makes it easy to back out of changing your life. Not having enough reasons to do something is not an excuse – why not do it because its different? If it turns out you don’t like it, well, you live and learn. If it turns out that you love it, then you have added a new string to your bow, a new colour to your spectrum. In short, it makes your life a great deal richer. You could sit around for ever waiting for someone to convince you of the worthiness of an idea – or you could test it for yourself. You could go on forever asking “Why?” and all the person will be able to give you are their own reasons. Asking “Why not?” means finding out for yourself.

Sometimes people are scared of change – that’s normal. There is no guarantee that a change is going to bring all the joy you hoped it would. But opening yourself up to the possibilities out there is the only way you are going to experience the things you feel you are missing out on right now. It may sound like a naïve and wide-eyed interpretation of the world, but unless you give yourself the chance to do something different, you will carry on cursing the status quo. Better to light an candle than curse the darkness.

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