How To Say No

Although we may associate “No” with a negative assertion, it can be actually a very positive thing you can do – depending on what type of “No” it is. Today, I will discuss some simple ways to say “no” to take charge of your life and time.

Why Say No

- There are only so many hours in a day. Saying “no” to unproductive and time wasting things will  
make you a lot more productive.
- Saying “no” to a new commitment which you won’t be able to handle will give your existing projects
more time to finish with a quality outcome.
- When we are stressed, depressed, and burned out from our modern day rigorous time consuming and high-paced activities, saying “no” will free up time to relax and wind down.   
- Saying “no” is respecting your time and respecting yourself. It will eliminate tasks that you don’t  
enjoy and will free up time to pursue your goals and dreams.

Simple Ways to Say No

Say No With A Smile – Saying “no” is a lot simpler when you add a genuine smile to it and avoid a serious face. Also, the person you are saying “no” to will take it a lot easier way if you say “no” in a smiling face.

Add A Brief Explanation – If you add a short explanation to the reason behind your saying “no,” the other person will understand it and will not get emotional or reactive. However, stop giving out an essay. Explaining too much will make it worse and the other person will think that there is something to it.

Don’t Lie – Avoid making up reasons that aren’t true for excuses. Most likely, the other person will be able to guess that it’s a lie from your body posture and voice tone.

Delay Your Response – If you feel that saying “no” will be difficult and likely to cause an emotional outburst from the other person, instead of saying “no” right away, take some time and reply back at a later time. This works because if you say “no” at a later time, the other person will not be on a full alert to hear “no” (than when she proposed) and it will have less impact than the first time.

Offer An Alternative Solution – There will be times when you just simply can’t avoid it in a full scale. Offer something different and acceptable, yet keeping it within your means, so it does not cause you too much time and stress like the initial request.

Saying “no” at the right time will save you a lot of time later. As you get better with saying “no,” you will be able to manage, simplify, and reduce stress a lot better than before.

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Words and Phrases You Should Avoid

Avoid these Types of Words or Phrases

Here are some words or phrases in bold you should avoid. I am putting these in sentences for better understating.

- I know what you are saying, but …
- You have to do this
- You can’t do that
- I can’t do it
- I will try to do it
- I am sorry about that
- Possibly this will work
- I would like to …
- Maybe I will do it
- Perhaps, this is not going to happen
- Do you have a minute?
- Am I bothering you?
- Am I interrupting anything?
- Sorry to bother you
- Sorry to interrupt

Why You Should Avoid These Words/Phrases?

When you use these words or phrases, you are projecting yourself as someone who is lacking confidence and weak – someone who is not sure about what he wants and what to do. Some of these words/phrases will create a negative impact and will irritate the person you are talking to the moment you use them. For example, if someone is in a good mood and feeling upbeat, the moment you utter “Am I bothering you?’ or “Sorry to interrupt…” it will make that person really bothered or interrupted although he would not have felt that way had you not mentioned it to him.

Replacement Words or Phrases Suggestions

Try these instead:

- Will you do it?
- Are you willing to do this?
- I am unable to do it
- This is what I can do …
- This is what I will do …
- I apologise
- What we will do …
- Definitely …
- Certainly …
- This will just take a second
- This will just take a moment

If you need to talk to someone, instead of asking permission by saying “Can I ask you a quick question?” or, instead of saying “Am I interrupting you?” or “Sorry to bother you…” just ask the question firmly and politely. This will start the conversation with a positive tone and good mood, and you will have better chances of getting things done once you start with a positive tone, positive body language, and a positive approach.

How to Clear Your Mind

Have you noticed what happens when you don’t clear your closet, cabinet, fridge, or anything regularly? Unwanted things start piling up and soon it becomes unmanageable. Our brain is no different than the above situation. In a world of high-stress, work overload, and infinite demands and responsibilities, our mind gets tangled, over-loaded and messy. That’s why we need to untangle and unwind to empty and clear our mind, so it can refocus and work at its fullest potential. Today, I am going to talk about some simple things you can do to empty your mind.

Take Deep Breaths – This is quick technique to clear your mind. Deep breathing puts more oxygen in your body, and your mind benefits from increased level of oxygen. For the same reason, aerobic exercises can clear your mind as well.

Write It Down – Whether on a piece of paper, in a notebook, on a laptop, or on your smart phone, writing down what’s bothering you can clear your mind from clutter. It is a good practise to keep a handy notebook or an online space to write down your thoughts – whether it’s something you want to vent about or it’s something pleasant. If you can’t do it daily, try to do it whenever you can. When you start writing down without worrying about anything else, your mind get rids of its unconscious clutter and makes more room for conscious thoughts.

Talk A Pleasant Walk – A pleasant, unhurried walk around the block, or in the park can empty your mind from accumulated stress and negative thoughts. While walking, try to feel and sense all the bits and pieces of your surroundings. For example, try to smell the air, feel the humidity or moisture in the air, pay attention to the various noises around you, notice anything unusual, and enjoy a beautiful garden, a mild breeze, or a beautiful sunset.

Talk to A Good Friend – Everyone should have reliable friends to whom they can talk without fear or worry of criticism. Share your concerns and thoughts with your friends and you will feel a lighter state of mind than before.

Listen To Light Music – This is one of my favourites. When I feel too burdened, I play some instruments or new age music, lie down or sit relaxed, close my mind, and concentrate on music. Doing this just for a half an hour can clear out my mind a lot and I feel totally invigorated and energized after that.

Enjoy A Great View From A High-Rise Building – As a skyscraper fanatic, I like living in tall buildings. One of the many benefits of living in a skyscraper is that you can enjoy great views from your balcony or through your glass wall bedroom or den (home office). When I feel my mind can’t bear it anymore, I just stay in the balcony or sit in front of my condo glass wall on a relaxing chair to enjoy outside views for some time. This works out perfectly for me to empty out my mind.

These are some tips that work for me. Try some of these to see if it works out for you or not. The art is the find those that work out best for you and apply them to empty your mind for a better yourself.

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How to Use Visualization Properly to Achieve Goals and Success

Proper Visualization Techniques to Attract What You Want

Visualization is nothing but using our imagination to make dreams or what we want come true. Our mind is behind every success in our life and proper visualization unlocks mind to work to its fullest potential. Visualization is not a new concept. Since the beginning of mankind, we have been using visualization – either with or without our knowing in our subconscious mind. In prehistoric times, hunters and gatherers used to draw their vivid hunting scenes on the cave wall. Fighters were also seen to draw their fights on the ground or on a wall. Both of these visualizations would become reality in later times. Today, I will discuss how to use visualization the right way to achieve what you want and attract success and prosperity.

Visualization is simply a technique for imagining or creating a mental image of something we want to obtain in the future. Yes, it’s just like daydreaming and daydreaming can make your dreams reality. However, you need to use visualization techniques properly. When you envision something you would like to achieve a goal or anything in the future, don’t concentrate on only the outcome or end results. Instead, focus on both the actual process the makes the outcome possible and the outcome itself. Your visualization should be a balanced combination of both process and results. Don’t focus on any one of these too much or too little, leaving the other one.

Let me give you an example to clear up what I mean by a balanced combination. Currently I am working on my second book “Save Now.” So, seeing “Save Now” published is my goal. How do I use visualization the right way to make this happen? I am creating a mental picture of the whole thing. When envisioning the process of writing this book, I am seeing myself going to a coffee shop and working a few hours to write this book. I am seeing myself working even harder during my vacation as I have a full-time regular job. I am seeing myself going to an isolated location and stay in a hotel for a week or two to work on my book without any interruptions. There are many other details – but these are the main elements of my mental visualization of the process part. How do I envision the outcome or result part? I imagine that “Save Now” has been published and make its place to Chapter’s bookshelves (just like “Invest Now”). I also imagine that A Dawn Journal readers across the globe are reading and discussing about “Save Now” … and much more like these.

Just visualizing what you want will not do anything unless you take action. Use visualization with hard work and positive mental attitude to reach your goals. Visualization can be a powerful tool to help our mind to go beyond its limited circle, to change our limited thoughts are beliefs, and to create necessary behavioural change to work towards achieving our dreams.

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Importance of Dressing For Success

Yes, it is a common thing you will hear from various self-help gurus, but the thing is that it does work. When you dress for success, you are dressing to appear as the person you want to be. For example, if you get up in the morning, put on the shirt that you have been wearing for days, which is wrinkled, and sweatpants, well you are not dressing for success. You are dressing to be someone who does not plan to do much that day, and that is exactly what is going to happen. You are not driving yourself because you are showing an image of yourself as someone who is lazy.

Now, look at someone who dresses well, wears suits or nice blouses and carries themselves well. What do they have? Well, the one thing they have, that you need, is confidence. They dress confident because they are confident and that is what dressing for success is all about. So, how do you go about dressing for success then? Is there a trick to it? No, there is no trick to it, it is just about doing the following.

1. Look at the people you admire and how they dress. Determine what it is about that that you admire, and what about the way they dress you like. At this point you don’t copy what they are wearing, but you understand why they are wearing what they do.
2. If you like that a person dresses as an individual, then you should to, so you can reflect who you are by what you wear. However, if the person dresses in a suit that is well-ironed, then you should look at dressing the same way because you want to ensure you dress as a professional. The professionalism is what you like, hence that is what you want to emulate with how you dress.
3. Buy clothes that you can afford that reflect not who you are but who you want to be. If you want to be a professional businessperson, then dress the part. If you want to be a confident musician, then dress the part. That is all you have to do.

Dressing as a professional and dressing with confidence changes you. When you look in the mirror wearing a dirty shirt, with unkempt hair, you will not always feel good about yourself. However, if you look in the mirror and see a well-dressed individual, you will be happy with what you see and you will want that person to be who you are. Hence you will try to become that person. You want to be the person you see in those clothes, on the inside, and that is what dressing like a professional will do for you.

It does not have to cost a lot to dress for success thanks to cheap deals on the internet, just make sure that the person you are dressing as is the person you want to be. Don’t dress like you think people want you to dress, dress for success as the person you want to be.

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Do Not Be Lazy When Bettering Yourself

Betting yourself is not easy work. The process of changing who you are is not a quick-fix; it is something that must be done over time. You cannot do this overnight, but you have to take time and follow a long personal journey. It takes time, it takes effort and it is not something you can do if you are not driven to do so. Changing yourself involves a lot of work, and you cannot be lazy. If you are lazy when you try to better who you are, you will not better who you are. You may think that you are bettering yourself, but you are not. You are just changing your perception of who you are, but not actually changing who you are. Being driven is an integral part of bettering yourself, and you cannot be lazy with it.

Here are some ways that you can do to ensure you stay driven with bettering yourself.

1. Don’t push yourself too hard. If you are trying to lose weight and you decide to go to the gym every day, you are going to push yourself to hard. This will result in you becoming lazy because you won’t want to do it anymore. A better solution is to go to the gym three days a week. That way you will be able to lose weight, while not pushing yourself too hard.

2. Make good goals for yourself. When you have goals, you have guideposts that you can achieve. The thrill you get from achieving a goal will ensure that you do not become too lazy with bettering yourself. The only thing here is you do not want to make goals that are unrealistic; otherwise you will get lazy and not achieve them.

3. Be accountable to others. If you are accountable to others, and if you have told people what your goals are, they will keep you from failing. They will ensure that you are going to achieve them and that in itself will keep you from becoming lazy. We all want to show others that we will be able to achieve something that we say we will achieve. When people think that you are going to fail, you want to prove them wrong. If they are watching you, you will make sure that you achieve what you said you will and that will keep you from becoming lazy.

Being lazy when you are trying to better yourself is the worst thing you can do for yourself. You will decide it is too hard to better yourself and you will not want to get up in the morning and meet your goals. The minute you become lazy with personal development, you have failed in your tasks. Laziness is one of the biggest killers in the world. Laziness keeps people on the couch, away from exercise, it keeps people from achieving things and it leads to many diseases. You do not want to have yourself fail because you were lazy, that is embarrassing.

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Where Can You Get Confidence?

In your tool chest of items that will allow you to develop yourself personally, confidence is one of the most important tools. With confidence, you will be able to tackle the challenges that come your way, but the thing is, you can’t just get confidence. You need to work for confidence and it is not always easy. Sometimes you may not think confidence is coming, but any doubt you feel is hurting your confidence. You need to get rid of doubt because it is what is going to hold you back. Confidence cannot exist if you have doubt, and these are the ways you not only get rid of doubt, but increase your confidence.

1. Make sure the people around you give you confidence. By having people who believe in you, you will begin to believe in yourself. They will tell you the things you are doing right, things you need to improve on, but most of all they will tell you exactly what you need to hear. That is why having a good group around you can give you confidence.

2. Confidence comes from pushing yourself to try new things. One of the ways you can do that is to get out of your typical comfort zone. If you don’t usually go out at night, start going out at night and pushing yourself to talk to people. If you are shy, be outgoing, if you are outgoing, be shy. Whatever you have to do to make things different, and to push yourself, will give you confidence when you need it.

3. Get inspiration from others. There are many people who have gone through bettering themselves, and they have a story to tell. Go to your local library and get biographies on individuals that you admire. Read about their challenges and how they overcame them. This will help give you confidence because you will see that others have gone through the exact same thing and achieved great success.

4. Talk to yourself whenever you begin to have doubts. Go to a mirror and talk to yourself, have conversations with yourself and compliment who you are. This may seem like an odd thing to do but you know yourself, you trust yourself and you will be able to push up your confidence just by talking to yourself. It is a very good technique that is used by actors, politicians, generals and more because you are speaking directly to yourself and making yourself confident. It works, trust us.

Being confident is very important in anything you do. When you are confident, you will not doubt your decisions and your confidence will help others believe in you. That then allows you to build up your confidence even more. Confidence is your best friend when you are bettering yourself, and it will keep you pushing yourself to become a better person. All you have to do to be confident is to use these tips and begin to change your life today.

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Personal Development and Taking It Slow

When you decide to start betting yourself through personal development, one of the first things you need to do is take a breath. The world is very fast paced and that leaves a lot of people scrambling to keep up. It can be difficult because people do not know what to do with a world that moves by like a speeding freeway. We become stressed, confused and depressed. There is an old saying that tells people to stop and smell the roses, and that is something you need to do when you are involved in personal development. You need to take the time to slow things down and just enjoy the time around you.

We too often feel that everything moves fast and therefore we must move fast, and if you do not want to move fast you can become depressed. Depression is a nail in the coffin of personal development, and you need to find a way to beat it. That comes from practicing the concept of Carpe Diem, which is Latin for Seize the Day. You want to seize the day because by doing that, you better yourself. This is why people create goals and bucket lists, they want to be able to seize the time they have and better who they are. They want to reach the end of their life knowing that they have done all that they can and are better for it.

How does this come into taking it slow? Well if you do not appreciate life and the time you have, you cannot seize the day. You do not want to rush through life because you will not spend the time you want to better yourself. If every day is about going to work, coming home and working, then going to work the next day, how do you have time to take it slow? Do you want to better yourself by learning a new skill? Well, then you should take the time to learn to do something like cooking. If you only buy microwave food because you are thinking you are too busy, you are not doing yourself any favours.

Look at something like Tai Chi, it is about moving slow and becoming one with your spirituality. There is no rushing; it is the joy of the movement. People like to go out on the water but they go out on motorboats rather than canoes. By taking a canoe you have more time to reflect on the quiet around you. Taking it slow allows you to look inward at who you are and to take the time to better yourself. We would all like to have infinite time but that is not going to happen, so instead you need to take it slow so you can make time for what matters in your personal development. Rushing through your life is just getting you to the end sooner, and that is something you are not going to want. Breath, relax and take it slow.

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The Power of Music For Changing Your Life

The type of music you listen to says a lot about you, however to say that a person who listens to Metallica is angry, or a person who listens to Beethoven is sophisticated, is simply wrong. Yes, the music you listen to influences you, but anyone can listen to all forms of music and appreciate it all. However, discussing the point of music and what music is better is not what is being done here. No instead, we are going to look at how music can help to change your life and lead to personal development.

Music is very important to the human condition. Music was probably one of the first artistic things humans ever did beyond painting on cave walls. Today, there is so many choices with music that you can literally never get through it all.

In terms of personal development and music, music can be used to not only make you happy, but to motivate you as well. For example, if you listen to sad music, you will most likely feel down. However, if you listen to upbeat music, you can most likely become happy.

In professional sport leagues, teams will often play loud music that has a lot of energy to it so that they can get ready for the game and get pumped up for it. They are essentially using music to change their lives. They are using music to implement something and influence a part of themselves. In their case, they are influencing their energy and adrenaline so they can play better.

In your case, you can use music that will get you pumped up, but you can also use music that will make you happy. Look at your collection of music and choose songs that inspire you and make you smile. Picture yourself walking down a nice beach on a sunny day and think of the music you would like to hear. What music relaxes you in that case and makes you smile. You want to think about that because by choosing the music that relaxes you and makes you smile, you can then create the same feelings as that beach by just listening to the songs. It has been proven that music can relieve stress and brighten your mood, so why wouldn’t you use it when you are trying to change who you are. You cannot change who you are and better yourself if you are not optimistic about who you are going to be. You need to be in the right frame of mind and the best way to do that is to listen to music that makes you happy. You can think about happy things, but music just works better for stirring the emotions that influence you to better yourself.

So, go and download the mp3 of your favourite song that makes you happy. Sit back, and listen to it and imagine yourself changing your life. Think of how happy you will be and think of how it will change who you are. Before you know it, you will be happy and ready to begin a journey of personal development.

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Developing Good Habits

If you want to better yourself and go on the road to personal development, then you need to develop good habits. These are habits that will help you become a better person, and feel good about yourself. They come down to getting your body, mind and spirit in better shape so you can meet challenges and overcome any problems that may arise on your road to personal development.

1. Personal hygiene is important because it will make you feel better about yourself, and it will keep you healthy. Making yourself look good and smell good will make you feel good and push you to better yourself.

2. Sleeping well will ensure that you are alert during the day. When you have a good night’s sleep, you will often be able to meet the challenges that life gives you with eyes wide open. As well, a good night’s sleep will keep you from becoming too lazy and not pushing yourself to better who you are.

3. Healthy eating will keep you feeling healthy and good about yourself. Being able to eat something and feeling good about what you are eating will go a long way to motive you to be a better person. When you have a salad instead of a hamburger, you will feel good about the decisions you are making and that will build confidence in you.

4. Developing the ability to meditate is important because it will keep you calm. When you are calm, you will not feel stressed and you will be able to concentrate on bettering yourself and becoming a better person. Meditation is a very important habit to develop.

5. Take the time to read and learn as much as you can. Instead of watching television, develop the habit of reading so that you can better yourself. You can learn anything that you want with nothing but a $10 library card and that will help you learn as much as you can to better yourself.

6. Practice the habit of being a more humane and better person. By helping people, being a person who socializes and who helps others, you will be able to feel better about yourself and you will be motivated to help. The better you feel helping others, the better you will feel about helping yourself.

Developing good habits is very important because it will make you feel good about yourself. Good habits also teach you to motivate yourself and better yourself. They say that you can develop a good habit in the space of a month, and that means you need to make the commitment to better yourself by getting good habits.

When you are trying to start good habits it is important to remember that you need to do the following:

1. Remember why you are motivating yourself and that will keep you on the right path.

2. Every day, make sure you remind yourself of the progress you are making.

3. Like who you are becoming and the good habits will become part of who you are.

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