How To Pick Self-Help Books

A thriving industry has grown up around the practice of writing self-help books. It is not actually a new thing, either, when you think back you can all probably name a few yourself. They may be about weight loss, they may be about finding (and keeping) your perfect partner. Some are about understanding the special people in your life that bit better. What they all have in common is that they address a need within a person – a need that that person has identified and considers an immediate concern. This can be just about anything – if you have lain awake at night, or spent idle moments in the day thinking about something that makes you anxious, the chances are that it has been written about somewhere by an author looking to address the problem.

What makes a self-help book is its outlook. Generally, you will find that they speak in bracing, positive terms directly to you as an individual. This differentiates a self-help book from a more scientific textbook that may address the specific problem in dry language and enumerate possible solutions to it. A self-help book will generally favor one specific approach, and concern itself with getting you to follow that approach. There is a tendency for self-help books to be written by someone who has faced the problem themselves and wants to share how they overcame it. This fact alone will be a good way of deciding whether the self-help book is for you.

Many people feel that self-help books take a simplistic, cajoling approach that offers only platitudes and a set, unchanging solution to a problem that may be a lot more complicated. As individual human beings, we have all learned over time that something that works for a friend may not be quite as beneficial for us. The same is true about plans of action for specific problems. Though you may see on the surface that your problem is similar to that of someone else, a solution that works for them might not help you – indeed it may even exacerbate your problem.

All of the above gives the impression that self-help books are of no value, but this would be misleading. Several self-help books have had results that have been proven over time. As a rule of thumb, a book that has been around for a while will have some words of wisdom in it that never go out of date and are as true for one person as they are for the next. Using a self-help book like this is certainly unlikely to do you any harm, particularly if it comes with the blessing of someone who knows you well and is aware of your needs. However, the most important thing is to always be aware that the book will not make things great all on its own. It may give you some handy advice, but it is up to you to put that advice to work for you. As was always the case, matching words with action is the key.

How To Improve Your Life

At present, we are all feeling the pretty rough end of the bad news that seems to filter through the airwaves every day. It can be pretty overwhelming and it’s totally understandable that you might feel you are swimming against the tide. But to look at it another way, when things are seemingly at a bit of a low for everyone it makes sense to use that time to try and build from the bottom up. Following a few simple tips can see a real improvement.

1) Procrastination is the thief of time: Making things better in the short term can be simple, but counter productive. Sure, moving some things around, and putting a few off until later might make the rest of the week go OK, but you will be cursing yourself two weeks from now when it’s due (or overdue) and you’ve still not got it done. It’s surely better to have the relaxation to look forward to and the work done.

2) Try saying “yes” more often: Caution is a useful trait, used at the right times and in the right way. But it can easily become a habitual thing, and you end up putting things off and turning them down because you’re not sure about whether they are quite the right thing to do. If something sounds like fun, but you aren’t totally sure it is for you, why not try it once?

3) Listen to compliments: There are a lot of people about whom you will hear people say “he/she only responds to criticism”. They are the people who, when offered a compliment, will try and palm it off, giving the credit to someone else, or some force like plain dumb luck. Every once in a while being gracious is good, but if you never accept a compliment you miss out on a lot of positivity

4) Do one thing each week that is just for you: Relaxation works much better for you when it comes at a time when you are able to appreciate it. Working all week and then falling into bed for a couple of days is not a good cycle for anyone. You will come to resent the work without having a competing positive thing because you are too busy sleeping. So set some time – sacred time – aside for doing something just for you.

5) Don’t worry about what others think: As the old saying goes, you cannot please all of the people all of the time. So if you are worried about doing something you want to do because you don’t want other people to look upon you worse for it, forget them. Chances are they are small-minded enough to look negatively upon anything you do. So forget them – don’t let them dictate what you do, they are not worth it. Do you know who matters here? You. So please yourself. You cannot do that if you are always concerned about whether people will take a negative view.

Let the Simple Personal Development Journey begin

You never stop developing, as a human being, because everything we experience in life has some effect. It is like an endless cycle of change, going through life learning from experience, learning from what we hear, what we see and what we do. We are the sum total of our influences, mixed together with our own personal opinions and instincts – so anyone who says that they have done all their developing for a lifetime is, quite simply, telling a lie. Personal development has become one of the world’s true growth industries, as people realize that they are open to improvement and look to achieve it.

How do we affect our development the way we want to? Well, we need to take our lives in our own hands and decide what we want to do, and where we want to go in life. What are we scared of? Why? Why do so many of us accentuate the negative points of our lives and our personalities? Why can’t we celebrate what we do well, and improve the things we may not be so good at without being too hung up on the fact that we have weaknesses? It is so self-defeating.

The self-help industry has made millions and millions of dollars from people who are uncertain about themselves and due to low confidence will listen to anyone who tells them that they can make their problems disappear. But the simple truth is that a lot of the books that get sold on the premise of making people happy, confident, slim, attractive or witty are filled with platitudes that do not really get us any further along. If we are going to go with platitudes, then why not start with “Real self-improvement comes from inside”? It does, after all.

Self-improvement is not a simple matter, and there is no one-size-fits-all solution to the question of self-confidence. What we need to remember is that we are all unique human beings, with our own particular strengths, weaknesses and our own idiosyncrasies. If you buy a book that worked well for other people, that doesn’t mean it will work for you. You are another person, a different person, and the solution that works for you will be a solution that addresses you more directly, and allows you to target your areas of difficulty. By basing your self improvement on that of others, you are selling yourself short, and do you not deserve better?

Personal development is not an easy, quick fix; it is an ongoing process that requires your input and your time. It is, to use a cliché, a journey that you take along a road that is longer than you can imagine, and the fact that it takes this time and effort does not mean that it is not worth doing. It also doesn’t mean that you are worthless now. Being hyper self-critical is not constructive, so give yourself a chance.